What do you get when you mix a child who is struggling to read, with the daily stress of school?  

You. Get. An. Angry. Child.  

At home and school, children with dyslexia are frequently faced with tasks they find challenging.

They spend the day at school feeling badly and building up frustration.

Over years, they witness their siblings and classmates making progress in areas where they are stuck or failing. It’s not their fault though, it’s hard work trying to learn something that your brain seems to be telling you can’t be done.  

Both parents and teachers say (sometimes within earshot of the child), “She’s such a brilliant child. I just wish she would try harder to read.” (Or write, or whatever the child’s weakness is)

Anxiety builds up in the child and that leads to avoidance of the awkward situation. Then, the parent or teacher criticizes the child for not doing his tasks or assignments. Ongoing frustration builds and builds until it spills over as anger.

Children are not equipped with the emotional competence to deal with the extra stress, so they act out.

Parents need to understand that anger is just one of the ways children mask their anxiety.

It is one of the most misunderstood emotions. Perhaps this is because it is a reaction to an inner feeling and is not a planned action.

The frustration, embarrassment, and anxiety make the child feel vulnerable, helpless, and weak. The angry outburst gives them a feeling of a level of control… at least, for the moment.

Remember… while the place and time may be inappropriate, anger is a normal human reaction.

So, when your child gets angry, don’t attack, or blame them.

There are ways to help them manage these feelings, so they don’t keep getting overwhelmed with frustration or anxiety.

Here are three tips for dealing with anger in your children who have dyslexia, which will make you a wiser parent…

3 Tips

1. Find the real reasons the child is angry
   • Don’t react immediately.
     • Give the child some space and time to calm down.
   • Schedule a fun activity that allows conversation while doing it.
     • Use language that is not accusing while talking.
   • Ensure your child of your support.
     • Be encouraging as they speak.
2. Help them change their self-concept
   •  Talk about the areas in which they succeed.
     • They do not have to be academic – e.g., art, generating ideas, solving problems, or seeing the big picture.
   • Remind them of times they came to the rescue and how grateful the other members of the family are for their gifts.
   • Help them set realistic goals
     • Most dyslexic children are perfectionists and set idealistic goals, then berate themselves because they don’t achieve them.
   • Find ways for them to tutor someone in their area of gifting.
     • This builds their self-confidence.
     • Self-confidence paves the way for success.
3. Have them practice gratitude
   • Start a gratitude journal and invite your child to join you by starting one also.
   • Schedule regular times to share your journal entries.
   • Reward their efforts in ways they enjoy.

Helping your dyslexic children feel better about themselves will go a long way towards decreasing and eventually eliminating their angry outbursts.

While this is happening, you must use strategies that will help them develop the skills they are deficient in, which will bring success in academics and their personal relationships.

Teaching the child with dyslexia how to read is only solving part of the problem. Parents cannot depend on the school system but must understand how to help their children develop the foundational skills that are needed to prepare for learning success and will help them navigate life.

That’s why I’m launching my program to help parents of children with dyslexia.

If you have a child with dyslexia and want to be a part of this pilot program, let me know in the comments or send me an email.